come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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