Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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