So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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