I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
