You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
