YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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