once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
