ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
