Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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