And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
