My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
