Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
