Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
