they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
