glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
