I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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