Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
