I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
