Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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