it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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