Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
