You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
