I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
