Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
