Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
