doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
