Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
