We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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