that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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