Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You smell like stripper and shame
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
