all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
