I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
