So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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