Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
