I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Randomize
