it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have aggressive nipples.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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