found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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