walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
