you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
