After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
