You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
