I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
