It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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