i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
