She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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