READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
