We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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