Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize