Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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