found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
