does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
